Almost as quick as i cycled in yesterday, I cycled out. Today, only a short time from the down cycle start, I am back up. Lucky I don't stay in a depressive state for long. I went to yoga last night and it helped more then I thought it would. I believe we, as spiritual people are meant to meditate. We are meant to take time out of our day to center our thoughts and find balance in a chaotic world set to rip us apart. We need to go off to a quite corner and find peace. Jesus did this. Even on his last night before the torture he went through, he meditated... reflected. He is the most centered and pure person that has been. There is a lot to learn from his reflections.
As i took each breath in last night, in downward facing dog position, warrior pose, and various other strained positions, i started to relax... started to find myself. I began to focus and find peace... reflecting.
I have started to work out again. I have lost several pounds and am back on track to a healthy lifestyle. Something i gave up with the start of this medication. Working out makes me feel better about myself, better about life. I have been relying on the medication to do everything for me. I tried to sit back and let the drug control me. Last night i realized this as i pondered on my mat with my back arched, leaning against the wall (to cheat). The medication is a very small part of this...
I began to understand that in order to heal myself, launch this new part of my life, I need focus. I need to be centered. For years I meditated, long ago. I jokingly call it my age of enlightenment. A time in my life in my mid twenties where i craved knowledge... craved peace. I returned to that partying ball of mess in my late 20's. I quickly forgot all that i had learned about meditation and centering myself. I haven't been that party guy in years, but I never returned to that peace that I searched for. I believe my kids, wife, family, and friends deserve more then what i have become. A person using sarcasm and jokes to cover up the shallow person i have become. I am not at peace. I let events, people and myself warp what i need to be, into something that has no depth and is dysfunctional.
instead of trying to get through it, this life, i am going to strive and embrace it...
I am going to try and find myself again. to meditate. reflect. conquer... be.
Almost as quick as i cycled in yesterday, I cycled out. Today, only a short time from the down cycle start, I am back up. Lucky I don't stay in a depressive state for long. I went to yoga last night and it helped more then I thought it would. I believe we, as spiritual people are meant to meditate. We are meant to take time out of our day to center our thoughts and find balance in a chaotic world set to rip us apart. We need to go off to a quite corner and find peace. Jesus did this. Even on his last night before the torture he went through, he meditated... reflected. He is the most centered and pure person that has been. There is a lot to learn from his reflections.
As i took each breath in last night, in downward facing dog position, warrior pose, and various other strained positions, i started to relax... started to find myself. I began to focus and find peace... reflecting.
I have started to work out again. I have lost several pounds and am back on track to a healthy lifestyle. Something i gave up with the start of this medication. Working out makes me feel better about myself, better about life. I have been relying on the medication to do everything for me. I tried to sit back and let the drug control me. Last night i realized this as i pondered on my mat with my back arched, leaning against the wall (to cheat). The medication is a very small part of this...
I began to understand that in order to heal myself, launch this new part of my life, I need focus. I need to be centered. For years I meditated, long ago. I jokingly call it my age of enlightenment. A time in my life in my mid twenties where i craved knowledge... craved peace. I returned to that partying ball of mess in my late 20's. I quickly forgot all that i had learned about meditation and centering myself. I haven't been that party guy in years, but I never returned to that peace that I searched for. I believe my kids, wife, family, and friends deserve more then what i have become. A person using sarcasm and jokes to cover up the shallow person i have become. I am not at peace. I let events, people and myself warp what i need to be, into something that has no depth and is dysfunctional.
instead of trying to get through it, this life, i am going to strive and embrace it...
I am going to try and find myself again. to meditate. reflect. conquer... be.
Almost as quick as i cycled in yesterday, I cycled out. Today, only a short time from the down cycle start, I am back up. Lucky I don't stay in a depressive state for long. I went to yoga last night and it helped more then I thought it would. I believe we, as spiritual people are meant to meditate. We are meant to take time out of our day to center our thoughts and find balance in a chaotic world set to rip us apart. We need to go off to a quite corner and find peace. Jesus did this. Even on his last night before the torture he went through, he meditated... reflected. He is the most centered and pure person that has been. There is a lot to learn from his reflections.
As i took each breath in last night, in downward facing dog position, warrior pose, and various other strained positions, i started to relax... started to find myself. I began to focus and find peace... reflecting.
I have started to work out again. I have lost several pounds and am back on track to a healthy lifestyle. Something i gave up with the start of this medication. Working out makes me feel better about myself, better about life. I have been relying on the medication to do everything for me. I tried to sit back and let the drug control me. Last night i realized this as i pondered on my mat with my back arched, leaning against the wall (to cheat). The medication is a very small part of this...
I began to understand that in order to heal myself, launch this new part of my life, I need focus. I need to be centered. For years I meditated, long ago. I jokingly call it my age of enlightenment. A time in my life in my mid twenties where i craved knowledge... craved peace. I returned to that partying ball of mess in my late 20's. I quickly forgot all that i had learned about meditation and centering myself. I haven't been that party guy in years, but I never returned to that peace that I searched for. I believe my kids, wife, family, and friends deserve more then what i have become. A person using sarcasm and jokes to cover up the shallow person i have become. I am not at peace. I let events, people and myself warp what i need to be, into something that has no depth and is dysfunctional.
instead of trying to get through it, this life, i am going to strive and embrace it...
I am going to try and find myself again. to meditate. reflect. conquer... be.
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