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Monday, July 25, 2011

a suprising twist to an unwanted birthday

Saturday, July 23rd I turned 40. For several months prior, I pushed the date out of my mind, trying not to think about it. The closer it got, the more depressed I became. I couldn't help dwelling on the fact that I was, in my mind, at the age where people start dropping off like flies. Forty in my screwed up mind, is the age where heart attacks, strokes and cancer start taking friends family and loved ones. I started to obsess that I now carried a big mortal target on my back... only it didn't say Kick me like all the childhood pranks, but rather bury me.
Saturday morning and afternoon came and went with now real major event. I didn't keel over. It was when I was driving with my son to see Captain America that a major change in thinking hit me. I wasn't dead, and felt all in all in good shape. I started thinking about all the events in my life. High school, college, my 20's, my marriage, my kids, my adventures. I have lived a good journey. One I wish to continue. The forty years I have walked the earth have been so diverse, so rich that I found I didn't need to obsess on the end but rather the quest all the way up to my final moments. I AM ALIVE! And life has been great. So come on 40... 45.... 50s... 60s and on. I look forward to what is to come... to what dreams my unfold... to my story.

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